i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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