dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
