I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
