what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
