i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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