Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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