i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
