the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
