I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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