I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
