So drunk its hurt
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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