it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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