so explain again why im purple
no
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
