tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize