My first STD was from a foam party
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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