I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
