It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize