Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
