I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
