Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
