she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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