weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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