i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
