That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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