sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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