totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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