Apparently you make a good broom.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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