She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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