shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
