I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish I only lived at night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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