ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
