I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Use "feeling words"
Yay
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
