big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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