i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
