Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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