I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
