He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
