this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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