We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
whose ass print is on the piano?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
