How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
