wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
