That's intense
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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