Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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