btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
