'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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