He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
