I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
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And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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