I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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