i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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