That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize