I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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