so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize