I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
