so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
