M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
